Monday, November 2, 2015

No-Regrets November

The concept is simple, and born of the functionings of my adorable brain. And it has alliteration.  I LOVE alliteration.

Truly the need for No-Regrets November began when we got in the car to drive to Seaside, OR (an adventure that would be followed by our jaunt down the coast to the ever magical Disneyland) and I fought feelings of regret.

We had won the trip to Disneyland in January.  Soon thereafter I put an image and a phrase on my Vision Board that I would "Weigh 200 in Disneyland!"

Now it was September...and I had not come anywhere near my goal.  I can't even honestly say I tried, physically speaking.  Yes, I went to a therapist and he identified that I had a binge-eating disorder.  I went to get help. He told me to change my thoughts and that would change my emotions, which would change my actions which would change my results.  Like this:

So I kept a "Journal" of sorts and tracked my thoughts, emotions, actions, and the result was that I didn't binge.  In fact, since March I have binged only twice.  That's a vast improvement over multiple times a week.  (YAY!!)

After 30 days binge free, my weight hadn't budged. That was rough. But the therapist said that if I stopped the behavior, I was fine. Just exercise and eat well.  He sent me off on my way, though I had hoped he would help me with something more like this:

But, he didn't.  He said I was fine.  So I rode a bike with my kids and loved it. But I really didn't improve my eating.

I could go on with the sad story, but I'm adopting a new creed.  No More JEEBS.  Here is what I mean:
So long story short, there I was in the seat of my van- lovingly called Duchess - regretting most of my actions over the last nine months.  NINE MONTHS. I kicked myself all the way to Seaside as I shifted my uncomfortable weight about and slept heavily on uncomfortable beds.

It was on the first morning in Seaside that I decided I needed to forgive myself or I was going to be miserable, and then regret my actions when I returned home.

That wasn't going to work for me. So: new plan.  No regrets. Regretful action stopped that morning.  I looked myself in the mirror, my real self, and said "I like you.  I trust you.  I believe in you.  And I forgive you for not losing weight.  Now go be happy."

I did and I was and I don't regret anything on my trip (except not eating the fresh seafood or buying that one necklace. but I digress). I was a blast and I had a blast. 

We returned home happy. The weeks came and went quickly as we caught up in our lives. Before I knew it, Halloween was about. And I regretted - again - not loosing weight so I could really dress up the way I wanted to.

You know what? I'm tired of this cycle.  And it occurred to me that I can change it. I'm declaring that November I'm just going to do what's good for me.  I'm not even going to tell you what it is, because I don't need anyone's opinion or permission to live my life.  I know what's good for me.  And I'm going to do it. And since words are my pals, I'll even name it.  

I know I'm not going to act or be perfect.  But that's the beauty of No Regrets November.  What it really means is that I'm going to act in my best interest and forgive myself quickly if and when it doesn't go as planned. I'm going to practice and do and my goal is to reach the end of November and not regret any day in the whole month.  And if I do happen to know of a day that I regret an action or a food choice or something... well then I'll forgive myself and keep moving on.

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